today is my day....

So...here I go - venturing, with some trepidation, into the "blogosphere." I'm not gonna lie...it's a little scary for one such as I - one who can easily be described as somewhat technologically impaired; one who loves the world of 1986; one who resisted getting a cell phone and is overwhelmed by Facebook and, really, email in general.

And, no, I am not 92 years old.

While I would gladly return to the pre-internet era, I have accepted that this "internet" is no passing fad and can be, after all, pretty useful. So, I am succumbing to the whole "blogging" thing...and I'm kind of excited!



I've been thinking a lot lately about who I am and who I want to be. And, also, who I used to be. I often think of the girl I used to be and how I miss her. The girl I used to be was confident and innocent and optimistic and smart and funny and charming and so many other things.... But, she's gone. Or, at least, she's changed. And now I am trying to figure out the woman I've become and the woman I want to be. And, more importantly, the woman my Heavenly Father wants me to be. Lately, I have been overcome with an urgent desire to DO MORE and BE BETTER. I feel like, with as many circles as I've made around the sun, I should know who I am....but now is as good a time as ever to figure it out, I suppose!

For too long I've been in "a most useless place." The place Dr. Seuss called the "Waiting Place."

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bit or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for a Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting

I find myself waiting way too much - for the weekend, for the 1st of the month, for my house to be completely decorated, for everything to be just so before I can start living the life I imagine. I haven't always been like this, but for too long I have.

I know that every day matters! After all, it's the days that make up my life. And, I have to ask myself - what kind of days are making up my life? Truthfully, I'd rather not say - I'll just say that too often it's too much of nothing! And....that's just not for me!

I want to recognize myself again. I want to be the person I was meant to be. I want to "fulfill the measure of my creation." So, today is the day to start! Today, and every day, matters - and at the end of each day I want to be able to look back at it and be happy, smiling, maybe exhausted, and able to see some way that I left the world a little better, some way I became closer to being the person I am meant to be.

So, here goes nothin'!